Self Hatred or Dreaded Dreads
Yesterday I was having breakfast with my fiance and his son in Cafe Brazil. As I was getting coffee, an older African American lady came up to me. She exclaimed, " I really like your hair. At first I thought it was a natural, and then I saw it was different. I'm just glad it's not those awful dreads. Some of those are (wrinkling her nose) just not nice at all."
As I looked at the down the middle of her back mess of a wig, all kinds of naughty things crossed my mind :0). Instead, I simply smiled and explained that my head full of locks where not quite dreads (locks formed by allowing the natural hair to lock over time without manipulation) but a spin off called "Sisterlocks" (locks formed by using a tool similar to a crochet needle to assist with the locking process). I launched into my standard Sisterlock spiel and abruptly stopped when I noticed her eyes glazing over. I thanked her for the (backhanded) compliment and walked away. (I decided not to even go there as it relates to "locks versus dread locks discussion." It would have been way too much.)
Recounting the incident to my fiance, we initially laughed about it, but then he noted how powerful self hatred is. This got me to thinking, is this lady's response to dreads about self hatred or simply the standard run of the mill ignorance about dread-locks. What do you guys think?
posted by Sisterlock Adoration @ 10:24 PM
9 Comments:
likely a combination of both. it's unfortunate that many of us carry a degree of self-hatred, be it subconciously. on the other hand, in many black cultures, america, caribbean, african, etc. dreads are looked upon in a very disfavorable manner (i.e. dirty, unkempt, etc.) and people often only associate them with the rastafarian tradition (which too is often misunderstood/misinterpreted).
I believe it is simply the standard run of the mill ignorance about dread-locks. Before I got my Sisterlocks, I had never had a interest in locks of any kind therefore I had never done any research. But right before I got my locks, there was a Hispanic gentleman that I worked with and he showed me pictures of himself when he had dreadlocks down to his waiste, I must say, "I WAS IN SHOCK" because I had never seen any other race of people with locks except African Americans. At that time I had already decided to get my Sisterlocks and that is what I was talking with him about, hence, him telling me about his dreadlocks. So that is why I believe the majority of people it is simply a lack of information or even misinformation. Because I definitely was in the dark. I don't think just because a person doesn't like the look of dreads it because of self-hatred, maybe for some, but we will never know that so we should never assume. I personally do not like the way dreadlocks look AT ALL!!!
I think it was both. Since she was wearing some type of wig that was probably as far from the look of her "natural" hair as she could get, there could be some self-hate.
Her comment about locks showed ignorance towards them.
People will always have something to say about our hair. Even when I wore "wet & wavy" braid extensions (pinned up french roll style with a few little ringlets hanging loose across my brow) I had an A-A man tell me he didn't like braids but that mine looked nice on me. I took it that he liked straight styles since this back in the early 90's when the "wrap" was all the rage.
Sounds like a combination of both! I'm not surprised anymore at what people think or say!
I can't go one becasue I'll get my blood boiling just thinking what that wig represents. Ugh!
I really feel bad for her. I wish I could think of better ways to educate people like that. I think you handled the situation nicely. I usually freeze up and get defensive. I wish I had an erase the self-hate business card that I hand to people.
I think you handled the situation very well in your own mannerable way. I believe most people feel we have graaduated per se from the natural or nappy styles and are reluctant to see people revert back(smile) to those styles. I love being natural. I have not committed to locking of either kind but I like both styles of dreads and sisterlocks.
I'm glad that you took the time to explain to her the difference between the locks...She seems curious but when you got into her butt..she didn't want to hear it...Good for you for not letting that incident ruin you and your finance's day...
Very good post. I want to see some updated pictures. Also, you have been tagged.
I think it was just a matter of the "standard run of the mill ignorance about dread-locks." I won't be so quick to say it was self hatred. She may wear a wig for a variety of reasons (cancer patient,balding, style choice, etc.). I do believe that more accurate information regarding locks in all it's varied forms should be "put out there" for individuals. I will do my best to educate people myself. Your locks are beautiful! Keep on rocking the locks!
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